I LIKE TO RUB THINGS

Lyle, pre-rubbing.

Lyle, pre-rubbing.

Yes, I am a cat

And yes, I like to rub things.

Yes, this is my calling

And yes, my duty.

Yes, this is the core of my cat-ness

And before I am done

Oh yes!

I will make you tremble

before my rubbing of things.

I rub to leave my perfumed scent

I rub to show up my fellow cats—

Away with you while I rub here!

I rub the book you hold,

And do I not

help you to read it?

I rub the answer

to that question

It’s yes.

I rub couch, chair, and bed.

I rub corners, doorways, and your head.

I rub the dead mouse on the floor

I rub the mailman at the door.

I rub you coming out of the shower

I rub you scrubbing those dishes

I rub you rubbing your girlfriend

That’s some nice rubbing yourself—

I commend you!

I like to rub things

Look there’s the couch

I like to rub things

Look there’s your chin

I like to rub things

Look there’s a poisonous jub jub tree

I like to rub things

thirty-six times each

just to be sure

I like to rub things

Hey what do you have in your hand

Let me ask you one thing

Would it be okay

If I rubbed it?

Look I know there is no money

in this rubbing

but hear me out here

I have a great argument

for rubbing…

(Hold on a second

while I rub this over here.)

Now what was I rubbing?

I am a rubbing fiend

I will leave no surface un-rubbed

I am a rubbing fiend

Get your girlfriend on board

I am a rubbing fiend

And I must be adored.

Do you believe me when I say I rub

for world peace?

Do you believe me when I say I rub

to balance the budget?

Do you believe me when I say I rub

because I love you?

Please now

Rub the answer to me.

Rubbed.

Rubbed.

19 thoughts on “I LIKE TO RUB THINGS

  1. Love this poem. This verse especially made me laugh: “I rub you rubbing your girlfriend That’s some nice rubbing yourself—I commend you!” Beautiful writing as always- I love how you are so adept at giving voice to your beloved cats.

  2. Great writing as always. My Montana, a rubber and what I like to call my computer cat, rubs me and my work. And I know it helps me write! He’s pretty sick so I’m enjoying every rub I can get!

    • Yes… my cats help me write as well. Sundance sits right on my mouse pad lately. I hardly ever have to rewrite him. I am sorry for your cat’s health… it really sucks when they’re sick, makes me a basket case.

  3. before she passed away, my cat used to lie on the floor as i worked for hours on collage and multi-media art projects and was incredibly loving and patient.

    • Thank you so much. It is really an honor and I love your blog and your courage and honesty in writing it. I don’t really participate in the awards anymore for various reasons, but to be recognized is award enough. And I’ll answer 2 of your questions you posed: my wish is for animals to be free and to not be exploited or tortured and eaten so they can live their own lives. And one of the things I like most about blogging is meeting kind people such as yourself. Thanks again. 🙂

      • It’s you who is too kind. Thank you for taking your time to answer. And I look forward to read your next blogpost. Have a nice weekend. And thank you again for your kind words 🙂

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