Lyle, pre-rubbing.
Yes, I am a cat
And yes, I like to rub things.
Yes, this is my calling
And yes, my duty.
Yes, this is the core of my cat-ness
And before I am done
—Oh yes!
I will make you tremble
before my rubbing of things.
♠
I rub to leave my perfumed scent
I rub to show up my fellow cats—
Away with you while I rub here!
I rub the book you hold,
And do I not
help you to read it?
I rub the answer
to that question
—It’s yes.
♠
I rub couch, chair, and bed.
I rub corners, doorways, and your head.
I rub the dead mouse on the floor
I rub the mailman at the door.
I rub you coming out of the shower
I rub you scrubbing those dishes
I rub you rubbing your girlfriend
That’s some nice rubbing yourself—
I commend you!
♠
I like to rub things
Look there’s the couch
I like to rub things
Look there’s your chin
I like to rub things
Look there’s a poisonous jub jub tree
I like to rub things
thirty-six times each
just to be sure
I like to rub things
Hey what do you have in your hand
Let me ask you one thing
Would it be okay
If I rubbed it?
♠
Look I know there is no money
in this rubbing
but hear me out here
I have a great argument
for rubbing…
(Hold on a second
while I rub this over here.)
♠
Now what was I rubbing?
♠
I am a rubbing fiend
I will leave no surface un-rubbed
I am a rubbing fiend
Get your girlfriend on board
I am a rubbing fiend
And I must be adored.
♠
Do you believe me when I say I rub
for world peace?
Do you believe me when I say I rub
to balance the budget?
Do you believe me when I say I rub
because I love you?
Please now
—Rub the answer to me.
Rubbed.
ANIMAL 
I believe the “I love you.” The other reasons…I’m not so sure. 🙂
I don’t know… cats are very peaceful and budget-conscious… 🙂
So very funny, so very true. And Sherman here agrees (as she was rubbing of course).
Thanks Peter. Say hello to Sherman for me 🙂
Love this poem. This verse especially made me laugh: “I rub you rubbing your girlfriend That’s some nice rubbing yourself—I commend you!” Beautiful writing as always- I love how you are so adept at giving voice to your beloved cats.
Thank you Diahann. I love how you give voice to women–also beloved, especially one in particular.
The professor liked the face of this cat! They are manipulators too are they not? One needs to utilize one’s Punchyish nature to deal with such cleverness do you agree?
I think I agree!
Great writing as always. My Montana, a rubber and what I like to call my computer cat, rubs me and my work. And I know it helps me write! He’s pretty sick so I’m enjoying every rub I can get!
Yes… my cats help me write as well. Sundance sits right on my mouse pad lately. I hardly ever have to rewrite him. I am sorry for your cat’s health… it really sucks when they’re sick, makes me a basket case.
before she passed away, my cat used to lie on the floor as i worked for hours on collage and multi-media art projects and was incredibly loving and patient.
Thanks for the comment as always Beth. Yes, cats are really wonderful companions, particularly for solitary activities.
Dogs just don’t do that. It’s more like they bang into you by accident. They have no sense of personal space. Which I like in a dog. Not so much in people.
Very true. Honestly I miss dogs. Eventually I will be adding them to my family I think. 🙂
Awwww… I love it! How wonderful to be able to dream about getting to world peace and balancing the budget simply by rubbing a cat! hehe. Wonderful thoughts.
Hello, I just nominated you for the Liebster Award http://panicyesterday.wordpress.com/
I wish you a reaslly nice weekend.
Thank you so much. It is really an honor and I love your blog and your courage and honesty in writing it. I don’t really participate in the awards anymore for various reasons, but to be recognized is award enough. And I’ll answer 2 of your questions you posed: my wish is for animals to be free and to not be exploited or tortured and eaten so they can live their own lives. And one of the things I like most about blogging is meeting kind people such as yourself. Thanks again. 🙂
It’s you who is too kind. Thank you for taking your time to answer. And I look forward to read your next blogpost. Have a nice weekend. And thank you again for your kind words 🙂
I laughed authentically. Thank you. ~ Gerean