A COUPLE OF CAT LISTS

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THE 10 MOST AWESOME THINGS ABOUT HAVING CATS:

  1. Cats, as a general rule, are not needy. They’re independent and interaction with them is often on their terms. This gets you settled with the fact that it’s really not all about you all the time. (Dogs will cause you to mistakenly believe this.) Cats show you how it really is in the world: it’s all about everyone except you. This is a valuable lesson to learn, and will spare you much suffering.
  2. Cats are the most awesome spooners. (With apologies to my girlfriend.)
  3. The cat walk is one of the most awesome things in the world to watch. Cats are actually cool, and it’s who they are, not some put-on. I’m looking at you, Gerard Butler.
  4. You get to live with the cousins of tigers. That’s pretty awesome—appreciate it. This will be at an even higher premium when tigers are driven to extinction, which won’t be long now.

    Lyle.

    Lyle.

  5. A cat purring is one the most awesome sounds in the world. I’ll put it up there with the sounds of rain in the jungle, bird song, a babbling brook, or your doctor saying, “You’re perfectly fine, and this bill is on me.”
  6. You can talk to a cat. I’m serious, try it. They will meow back at you, and once you back and forth with your cats enough you’ll be able to understand what they’re saying. Mine usually tell me to suck it up and stop complaining.
  7. They rub up against you. This expresses love as well as ownership. So cats are the only example of a benevolent dictatorship in the history of everything.

    Picasso.

    Picasso.

  8. You save a life if you adopt one from a shelter or a rescue. My cats Butch and Sundance were part of a cat colony on the streets of Hollywood. Picasso was a stray on the streets near downtown Los Angeles. Lyle was at a kill shelter and was scheduled to be euthanized during Christmas week in 2010 because he had a runny nose. I’m not kidding—a runny nose. (Lyle is the face of this blog, by the way.)Lyle sun 1
  9. Cats are creative muses. I’m convinced of it. If you have a novel trapped in you then you pretty much need a cat napping in the chair within six feet of your keyboard for you to even have a chance of getting it out.
  10. If a cat loves you, you know you’re something special.127

THE 10 MOST NOT SO AWESOME THINGS ABOUT HAVING CATS:

  1. There is no place safe from cat hair. Especially not the underwear drawer. Corollary: your dark clothes will look like they’re all trying to grow beards.
  2. Cats are in no way shape or form anything but carnivores. If you’re a vegan, this will cause you endless confusion and inner turmoil.
  3. Veterinarian trips. Cats will not go quietly and the claws may come out. Stuffing yourself into a suit of armor might help with this. Otherwise you will pay for these unwarranted and undignified kidnappings.
  4. Cats throw up a lot. You’re going to want to rethink buying a house with a lot of carpeting. My carpeted bedroom floor looks like Laos circa 1970.

    Butch.

    Butch.

  5. Cats hide sickness really well. It’s probably the worst holdover trait from their wild ancestors (You know, the “show no vulnerability to survive” thing—the same crap that’s drummed into a lot of young boys). Things will be coasting along like normal and then it’s nightmare time.
  6. Dander balls the size of tumbleweeds.
  7. Cats operate from a state of fear, with rare exceptions. So they don’t sit well with new people or new places. And they’re always ready to run away. The good news is if you operate from a state of fear, your cat will show you how silly it is to live life in this way. (I am talking about myself, of course.)Beautiful Butch
  8. If you get to a place of appreciation of the species, it’s hard to stop acquiring them. I have four. I was not “a cat person” growing up and never intended to get even one.
  9. Scratching furniture. Remember #4 in the “most awesome” list: you get to live with the cousins of tigers. Don’t forget how awesome that is. Move it up to #1 if you want. As far as the scratching, put up a few scratching posts—cats are drawn to them like Gerard Butler to crappy movies. I mean crappy movies to Gerard Butler.
  10. As with any animal, the bond you form with a cat is deep and it’s for life. And their lives are significantly shorter than yours.

    Sundance.

    Sundance.

And the biggest myth about cats I’d like to dispel: the one about cats being ‘aloof’ and not capable of forming a real bond with humans.

It’s real simple: you get what you give with a cat.

One other myth: there’s no such thing as a ‘crazy cat man’—there’s only a ‘crazy cat lady.’

Not true.001

41 thoughts on “A COUPLE OF CAT LISTS

  1. It’s obvious that you are a crazy cat man and your cats look well-loved and taken care of. Based on the photos you selected they look like they get to spend their days lounging and posing for the occasional pictures. Lucky them they have you. 🙂

  2. I would love to be able to have a cat, but my husband is far too allergic. He can’t even stay in my mother’s house when we visit her because of her cat (and it’s a big house). His breathing suffers, and even an inhaler doesn’t tame it very well. So alas, I remain catless. And dogless because he’s allergic to them, too. Neither of my sons ever lets him forget this, either, and they remind him everyday how they wish they could get a cat or dog! 🙂

    • Yeah, I really love dogs too. I just haven’t had one in a while (my former job was just too busy to have one). Cats will give you unconditional love, but there is a sort of “trial” period first :).

  3. All true!
    You have to earn the love of a cat, and that is what makes a cat’s love so special.
    And yes, I have often thought about how lucky I am that I am much bigger than my male cat. Sometimes, when he does not get his way, I see the way he looks at me. If he was tiger size, I would have been shredded to pieces for doing things like not allowing him to shred the curtains.
    Agreed. Cats do operate from a state of fear.
    If a burglar breaks in, I’m going to be on my own–they’ll both be behind the couch. 😉

    • Thanks for reading and the comments, Mary. Lol–yes, cats are no good with intruders. If one of my cats is on my shest or something when someone knocks on the door the cat will trounce me and step on my head just to get away. 🙂

  4. i loved my cat, sugar, who passed away a year ago summer. i adopted her and she was sweet, kind, gentle, and followed me everywhere. doing collage art projects with me, reading, lying on the couch, writing, just very sensitive and in tune with my calm side. i miss her presence.

  5. Pingback: Observations about #Cats #Photography #Commentary | johndwmacdonald

  6. Wonderful post. Reminded me of all the wonderful times I’ve had with my pets (dogs and cats). Once my cat hissed so loudly when we were on vacation and someone from the condo complex was installing a thermostat. It really unnerved the installers and they had to leave! So cats are territorial and fierce when they have to be. It surprised me to hear that story and I never saw my tabby act that way around me.

  7. Hah, that’s funny. Yeah, I discovered that my cat Bandit–normally a very easygoing cat–would get very upset at the caretaker whenever I left town. Hissing and the paw waving. The caretaker would tell me about these things and I would think, ‘Are you crazy? He’s nothing like that.’ But like humans I guess… there are a lot of facets to them…

  8. Pingback: Things I Have Learned From My Cats | anonymous real thoughts

  9. Delightful blog and entertaining writing. I like both cats and dogs and had them until 10 years ago when they passed away. Now I have a canary and local birds for company. Thanks for visiting my blog and liking my posts. 🙂

  10. Brilliant post! I am going to walk with my head held a little higher today now that i realise I live with the cousins of tigers, how cool is that?
    My list would only differ in one respect – point 9. I tend to find that the cats like the warmth of sitting on the laptop rather than a few feet away, which can hamper creativity. I also suspect that their true motive is to ensure that they get more attention than the laptop, which is of course fair enough.
    Did I mention – great post?!

  11. Very often I read the blogs in my iphone, I read and read and I change page and I don’t notice that I by mistake presses the followbutton to unfollow. I don’t notice until I get worried why the blog doesn’ t come up with any more posts in the “reader” – …then I see that I somewhere along the way pressed that little button .it’s so annoying, because it happens with the blogs I love and follow, because it’s those I’m reading and changing pages on the iphone, Now I just noticed that I suddenly wasn’t a follower to your and another blog I like. I fixed that now :-). I’d better watch out with my thumb…

  12. Great post, Michael. You do a great job summing up cats…in a way that really shows love. You know their faults, but choose to love them anyway. I love that.

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